As homeschoolers, we all know that one of the first questions we get from others about our homeschooling lifestyle is, "what about socialization?" We all have our own ways of answering, of determining if the questioner is asking if our children are "socialized" in the contemporary sense of being familiar with pop culture, being able to adjust to rules of order in group settings, and conforming to peer group expectations, or if the questioner is really asking if our children are "social," interacting frequently with other children and adults throughout the week.
Most often, it seems to me, questioners are seeking the answer to the latter, wondering how children who learn without school become social, playing and learning with others. As the ranks of homeschoolers grow, the opportunities for homeschooled children to interact with other homeschooled children rises too. Here in the city, we have a large and vibrant homeschooling community that plans and promotes countless, varied activities designed for children of all ages and interests. From park days to arts classes, aquarium workshops to hiking clubs, board game meet-ups to reading groups, city homeschoolers soon find that the issue is not finding ways to be social, but learning to not become too over-scheduled with the bounty of social offerings!
And, of course, there are all those other social moments with non-homeschooled children, including structured after-school or weekend classes, like dance and sports teams and art programs, and the more spontaneous play that occurs daily with neighbors and friends.
I sometimes hear from parents contemplating homeschooling that they are intrigued by its ideals but wonder if it is right for their child. Often their child is particularly shy or awkward, gifted or eccentric, and the parents worry that homeschooling may not create the established social structures of school to help the child learn to interact most effectively with other children. To these parents I say, your child most definitely will benefit from homeschooling! Children who may be shy or socially awkward or have advanced or unusual interests benefit greatly from the smaller, more diverse homeschool social network.
Let's say your shy first-grader is passionate about building rockets, wants to spend all of her time immersed in learning about and constructing rockets, and you would like her to interact more with other children. As the homeschooling parent, you could send a quick note to your local homeschooling online community or support group to see if any other children share this interest, and then connect these children around this shared interest, fostering social interaction in a meaningful, genuine, non-intimidating way.
Rising numbers of children learning without schooling, connected to active and diverse homeschooling networks, lead to many moments of natural, constructive, authentic social interactions that enhance the homeschooling life.
Love this! What I remember from school is the teacher shouting to the children to be quiet, saying "you can socialize after school!"
ReplyDeleteHaha, yes! I remember hearing that too!
ReplyDeleteWe have only to begin homeschooling, my kids aren't school age yet. I find the socialization question to be so ironic. Parents complain every day about negative things their kids pick up in school, yet the same parents wonder if homeschooled kids 'get socialization'. I think socialization is the biggest benefit of homeschooling! :) I'm excited about my kids being friends with a more diverse group of kids of different ages and interests rather than just peers who only talk about pop culture all day in school (or after school).
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I just re-read the chapter in "Family Matters" about socialization. This issue always feels like a red herring to me, a diversion from people's real issues with homeschooling, namely that they don't want to do it -- especially when a mom approaches me on the beach and says something like, "Your kids just came over and introduced themselves and asked my kids to play. They were chatting with me a bit and mentioned that you homeschool. Aren't you worried about socialization?"
ReplyDeleteI always answer that social skills begin at home--a child who can't along with his/her siblings is not in need of other children to play with.
ReplyDeleteI'm always intrigued by the many other homeschooling families who talk about (write about) their regular social interaction with other HSing families. We have literally never sought out other HS families nor attended HS groups or activities. Maybe it's because my children enjoy each other's company so much or maybe it's because I shy away from the inevitable comparisons and competition that come from those types of situations. I'm not sure...
At any rate, the 'socialization' question is one I welcome enthusiastically. I love the comment from LakeMom above! Red Herring, indeed!
I think about this a lot. My 9 year old goes to private school. I have considered homeschooling. What mostly stops me is that she is an EXTREME extrovert. It is exhausting just trying to stimulate her enough on the weekends. She needs near constant human interaction and very little re-charge time. I just can't imagine how it would work. Anyone have experience homeschooling very extroverted kids?
ReplyDeleteAmy, I do. A parent of an extrovert has to work harder to find opportunities for him/her to flex their extroversion muscles, but the nice thing is that the extrovert, while homeschooling, finds joy in some introversion time as well. My son, the extrovert, has become very balanced through homeschooling. He really appreciates both his extrovert time and his introvert time. I believe this is because neither are forced.
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